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 I promise I won't let go of you
It really sucks feeling so distant from you.
I don't want us to turn out this way. I thought we were suppose to be best friends and best friends aren't suppose to be keeping things from each other, are they? I know we only know each other for barely a year but i feel so close to you already during this period. We joke, laugh, play and share secrets/advice with one another. I told you everything about my life, even more than i tell my other best friends and it sucks to know i'm the only one doing that. It sucks to find out things that are bothering you from other people. Even when i asked you what happened, you had to lie and make up something up. When you told me the reason when i asked you, i really trusted your words and not probe any further. I know you're someone that don't pour out your inner feelings easily but i thought we were past that stage? Maybe not. I don't know why i'm feeling so upset. Maybe it's cause i don't have a lot of close friends in my life and if you're one of them, i would really cherish you and risked my life for you. Who knows? But still, it really hurts me when i heard from other people the real story. 

It makes me think that i'm not trust-able enough for you to tell me the truth. And that all the other times of me treating you like my best friend is just purely one sided and silly. I told you before how i think trust is so important in both relationships and friendships, and it sucks that you can't trust me enough to tell me things. Are you afraid i'll judge you? Do you really think i'm someone like that? If it really is the case, i'm sorry if i did portray myself this way. But all this while, I've been putting my heart on my sleeves and treating you with genuineness. I really hate myself for being so distant to you. I'm really trying, to not be so distant. I just can't control myself. It's as if i'm putting in 10 times the effort into this friendship but maybe, this just doesn't mean as important to you than i thought it will be. I miss you, so much. Even if it's only a day of feeling distant with you. ...But, we'll be back to normal soon again right? Our friendship is not that breakable right? I don't know how to feel right now but please remember, i'll always be here for you. I won't ever judge you and i miss having so much fun in class with you. I won't ever back stab you or treat you like an option. Ever since polytechnic started, everything i did was with you. We were like two super glues sticking together, never far away from one another. I don't know if you miss me as much as i do, but i really do hope so. I just want to know that this friendship means as much to you as it is to me... 

- Jacqueline.xx
❤ "I promise I won't let go of you" was Posted On: Monday, 25 November 2013 @Monday, November 25, 2013 | 0 lovely comments ✿

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