dreams are up so high
-Jacqueline. xx
count on me
Dear Burden Heng,
Hopefully you're gonna stalk me on my blog and read this post soon.:b Hehe. First off, i just wanna say thank you for the letter. It really reassured me a lot and finally put my heart at ease. And i hate to say this, but i cried twice while reading the letter. Don't know why i was crying over your letter, but i guess it just says how much you mean to me. These past few 4-5 days have been so tough for me. And to know that we're now back to normal, i'm just feeling a lot at the moment. Happy, Relieved, Ecstatic, Loved, Cherished and so much more.
It's so funny how we can get so close to one another even though we barely know each other for barely a year. We should totally celebrate our anniversaries for our friendship like couples do. Hahaha. You're someone i won't hesitate to go to if i have anything to say or just rant. I can talk about everything to you. H2h talks, ask for advice or just talking crap in general. I just really like talking non stop in front of you. My non filtered mouth. Well, i shouldn't say so much here since i'm already sure you know how much you mean to me in my heart. I don't let a lot of people in easily and you're one of the few that i actually let into my life. You're already a part of my life. So promise you won't leave me alright? You leaving is like losing a part of my life and i would be so devastated to lose this friendship.
Just remember, i'll always be here for you. I'll be here whenever you need some to talk to, rant to, crap to, get some advice, cry to or just to share happy things to me. I'm gonna stick to you like a superglue. I'm sure this misunderstanding has strengthen our friendship a lot more. And our friendship didn't change at all, everything is back to normal. Let's forget about this misunderstanding and continue moving on forward together.:) I love you.
-Burden Yong. xx
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I promise I won't let go of you
It really sucks feeling so distant from you.
I don't want us to turn out this way. I thought we were suppose to be best friends and best friends aren't suppose to be keeping things from each other, are they? I know we only know each other for barely a year but i feel so close to you already during this period. We joke, laugh, play and share secrets/advice with one another. I told you everything about my life, even more than i tell my other best friends and it sucks to know i'm the only one doing that. It sucks to find out things that are bothering you from other people. Even when i asked you what happened, you had to lie and make up something up. When you told me the reason when i asked you, i really trusted your words and not probe any further. I know you're someone that don't pour out your inner feelings easily but i thought we were past that stage? Maybe not. I don't know why i'm feeling so upset. Maybe it's cause i don't have a lot of close friends in my life and if you're one of them, i would really cherish you and risked my life for you. Who knows? But still, it really hurts me when i heard from other people the real story.
It makes me think that i'm not trust-able enough for you to tell me the truth. And that all the other times of me treating you like my best friend is just purely one sided and silly. I told you before how i think trust is so important in both relationships and friendships, and it sucks that you can't trust me enough to tell me things. Are you afraid i'll judge you? Do you really think i'm someone like that? If it really is the case, i'm sorry if i did portray myself this way. But all this while, I've been putting my heart on my sleeves and treating you with genuineness. I really hate myself for being so distant to you. I'm really trying, to not be so distant. I just can't control myself. It's as if i'm putting in 10 times the effort into this friendship but maybe, this just doesn't mean as important to you than i thought it will be. I miss you, so much. Even if it's only a day of feeling distant with you. ...But, we'll be back to normal soon again right? Our friendship is not that breakable right? I don't know how to feel right now but please remember, i'll always be here for you. I won't ever judge you and i miss having so much fun in class with you. I won't ever back stab you or treat you like an option. Ever since polytechnic started, everything i did was with you. We were like two super glues sticking together, never far away from one another. I don't know if you miss me as much as i do, but i really do hope so. I just want to know that this friendship means as much to you as it is to me...
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- Jacqueline.xx
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"I'm not good enough for anyone"
"I'm not pretty enough"
"Why do i look so fat?"
"Why doesn't anyone like me?"
"I don't look that bad, do i?"
"I hate myself."
"I don't deserve anyone."
Everybody has insecurities. Even me. Every morning when i look into the mirror, looking at myself, these thoughts just pass through my mind involuntarily. I really try so so hard to get rid of these thoughts and slowly build up my self confidence, but every time i try so hard to build them up, something comes up and breaks down my that tiny bit of self confidence i have that i tried so long to build up. It sucks to have all these insecurities in my mind, following me around everyday. My friends are all so pretty and sometimes, i can't help to compare myself with them. I'm really tired. So sick of always comparing myself with others, so sick of having all these negative thoughts about myself. Everyone thinks i'm this cheerful girl, always smiling in front of people, but nobody really knows the real me. The insecure, self destructive part of me. 'Don't judge a book by its cover', such a true phrase. Bel once told me to stop thinking like this when we were having a h2h talk, and have more confidence in myself. Brush off all the negative things. I'm really trying bel. Trying not to be so insecure about myself. And i hope one day i won't be like this anymore.
Name: Jacqueline Yong.
I don't usually update, only during my free time. I get tired of things easily so don't expect me to come everyday to update this. I would appreciate if you guys just read my blog quietly without making any hateul comments. Cause i bite, hard.
Travel to England. 
